Title: The beautiful, hard work of co-parenting
Presenter: Joel Leon
Evaluation
Delivery
- To me, you seem very uncomfortable telling your story. You have lots of verbal pauses, uhs and ums, at the start, and you’re dancing, swaying back and forth, and nervous laughs. That distracts me from your message and also makes me feel uncomfortable for you. But as you got further into the presentation, those nervous signs mostly disappeared.
- I especially liked the pace of your presentation and you use of pauses. They were very effective in maintaining the drama and giving me a place to consider what you were telling me as you moved point-to-point. Nice job pausing and letting your audience applaud when your daughter’s picture appeared or when they laughed. You had good presence on the stage.
- You have effective gestures. The gestures you make throughout the presentation are natural and undistracting. And I liked how you complemented them at times such as pointing towards your heart as you say “my heart is full of love.”
Content
- I liked your introduction very much. You defined your terms and explained why this talk was pertinent to you and why you had credibility on the topic.
- I thought that you did a good job establishing that two parents can work together as parents while separated or divorced, and I anticipated that your purpose would be to call on parents, especially father, to share the responsibilities to raise healthy children.
- I didn’t like the line about standing in front of a room of bold, powerful women and talk about dad stuff. When I hear stuff like that, that’s when I feel a speaker is trying to manipulate the audience with a cheap compliment. It made me start to doubt your veracity.
- I felt you lost your way at that point, and it felt to me that you were trying to score social points for women more than you were trying to share your passion and beliefs about raising children. I felt that the swipe about “self-absorbed allies” was unnecessarily insulting. It felt to me that the purpose of the phrase was to score more points.
- You have a wonderful ending. You led up to it very well, and you told us your goal clearly. Overall, you did so many things well, and you have a very good organization and make well-supported points. To me, the only thing that diminishes the presentation are the comments meant to get applause from your female audience; but your goal is aimed more at encouraging men to change their attitude and explaining the benefits of that changed attitude. To me, the comments to gain the applause and credit of this audience are the same ones that will drive men away and undermine your goal. If you present this again, I encourage you to eliminate those lines.
Chuck Hinkle has been formally evaluating and coaching speakers worldwide for over thirty years.
“Chuck took my story I was giving at a TEDx conference and turned it into a powerful presentation. Then he coached me so that I could deliver it confidently and effectively. It was the most impactful presentation of all the speakers.” Sr. Business Analyst & TEDx Presenter
“Even more than being terrified of public speaking I am more terrified of sharing my personal past with others. That was until I encountered Chuck Hinkle. Chuck listened to my ideas for my first TEDx talk and gently coaxed me to share part of me that was not a part of my work persona. He helped me develop the skills I needed to convey a message that would reach the hearts and minds of folks literally around the globe. My New Years resolution was to overcome my fear of speaking in public by possibly talking to a group of school children or at a senior center as part of a group. By working with Chuck, I gained the confidence and skills to stand on the stage alone and reach out to over 17 different countries and Dare them to make a difference. And what is even more amazing is they took the challenge and told how they did. Chuck used a combination of presentation techniques on how to use PowerPoint and pictures, to what stories to tell and how to paint a visual picture. I grew personally and was able to land an amazing new role professionally thanks to Chuck.” Commercial Contract Manager & TEDx Presenter